Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.
1Peter 4:10
“Be blessed, be loved, be lifted high. Be treasured here, be glorified. I owe my life to you my Lord, Here I Am.”~Recording Artists, Watermark “Knees to the Earth”
I’ve listened to this song a thousand times. Maybe two thousand times but I’ve lost track. On the way to Baltimore for my new job this song played again over my iPhone. I love worship music. I think I always have. It gives me an opportunity to come before the Lord with praise and reflection.
The first three lines of this chorus do just that, finishing with the acknowledgement “I owe my life to you.” “It is a very big acknowledgement,” I used to think to myself. After listening to this song again, I suddenly wondered if my focus had been on the wrong words. It occurred to me that in this new place in my life, an acknowledgement isn’t enough. It’s a start but it is not where the story ends.
So you may be asking what this new chapter in my life is titled. Let it be known that I am 32 years old, I’m starting a new job and refocusing my career. I am the humble and humbled father of two boys and a beautiful baby girl I have yet to meet outside the walls of her Mommy’s tummy. I am a thankful husband who is constantly reminded of God’s grace through the actions of my wife.
Therefore, let this chapter in my life be known as “Here I am.”
I am finished with mere acknowledgements with little action. I’ve been pretty good at that over the past several years. Instead of acknowledgements it is really time to search out those opportunities to be a true servant for the sake of what Christ has given us; a second chance. I hope this doesn’t come across as some ‘I am holier than thou’ speech because it is quite the opposite. I’m well aware of my deficiency in life and my lack of service to other is just the beginning. My faults run many in number. In fact, I think that is one of the toughest part about becoming a follower of Christ. It’s the realization that you have tried so long to do it yourself and your still spinning your wheels, you’re still unhappy, you still can’t make sense of this life. At least that is what it was about for me.
I’m tired of pretending I can do a better job than God can. I have been over it for a long time now. There are plenty of people who don’t get the whole Jesus message and I get that. I really do. I may not agree but I get it. For now, that is okay with me because I know that relationships don’t happen overnight, they’re not forced and they are by choice. In the meantime, I pray that my friends and my family find the clarity and peace that God has laid out for them. This, they are not able to create themselves, although like me, they will continue to try as I have tried so many times. That’s a conversation for a different day.
For now, I’m ready. Here I am.
My Plowshare 